Money Pit

I'm not joking when I write this, my house is falling apart before our eyes! I am so freaking frustrated right now I had to post about it! First let me start by saying I love my house, nix that, I LOVED my house! This was our "first place", our "nest" us becoming adults! Wes and I bought this house the spring after we got married. We had put an offer in on a very similiar house a few blocks away but were confronted with a biding war-no thanks. We kept searching until we found this one. We toured it and let me tell ya, it was rough! All walnut trim,panel walls,doors, shag carpet, yellow tile,wall paper, you get the drift. We saw the potential and got the house. Since then we have put our hearts and souls into renovating each and every room. We have turned this beast into a beauty! We welcomed both our darling girls home in this house, we've had numorous Holiday celebrations, birthdays, and poker nights. With wanting to add to our family we feel it best to "move on up", this has actually been a thought of ours for the past 2 years. It's big house easily capable of housing a family of 5 but Wes and I want to be comfortable an not have to worry about moving once the kids get older. Plus this school system SUCKS!!

Onto the Drama. It all started in early January when our pipes burst and ruined our basement. Refer to blog post " Happy new Year???". We have been through the gamet with our insurance co, our mortgage co,plumbers, adjusters, clean up crews and eachother. The basement is trashed and down to the subfloor. We removed all the carpet and are just waiting for our mortgage co to sigh and release our insurance checks!

Our kitchen sink has been acting up for the past year an we have felt with it the best we could.

RULE#1
No peels, no rice, egg shells, nothing allowed down the disposal. Everytime we would grind shit up the other side of the sink would fill with the nasty remnent water.

RULE#2
do not run the water longer than 30 seconds.

RULE#3
don't forget to follow rules 1&2!!! Ooops!

Well yesterday I began to notice that when I unloaded our dishwasher and noticed water accumlitation in the bottom of the unti. Great! The sink has gotten so bad that if you run the water longer than 5 seconds it fills and dosnt drain for hours! We had to actually shopvac the water out, iiick. So today it became so backed up with water that the dishwasher began to leak! I'm mean what are we waiting for?? Are the night elves going to come and fix it? This is no way to live!

The washing machine is sounding funky and our thermostat went wacky and turned our programmer heat all the way down to 62! I felt Like the biggest idiot trying to figure out why it was so cold in the house all day! And here's the piece of resistance, our beloved 56" Sony LCD tv has a defective screen! We are 2 months past our warranty and they won't budge! It would cost us $2,100 to replace the screen, we purchased the whole thing for $2,900!!!! We have been working on getting Sony to honor their products and meet us somewhere in the middle. So our lives so far this year have sucked! We are stressed, tired, and frustrated. I want out of this house, a new baby, and a sense of NORMAL!! We have our relator coming over next Thurs to help stage the house, hopefully we can fix 2/4 issues by then. Fingers crossed this is just a bad first few months! My family is healthy, my girls are amazing and my husband is my rock. I just need to focus on the good. I can't wait to come back to this blog and actually post about something positive. Until then...

Catching up

I am currently waiting on this Provera to kick in. For those that don't know what Provera is, it is a synthetic form of progesterone that is present to start a woman's cycle. This is my 4 th or 5 th month using it and wish there was a quicker way to " jump start" things! I hate this process!! I am so emotionally and physically drained from this. God must really think I need a lesson in Patience. The first day I start lines up my entire month. From my clomid days, to my fertile days, to the waiting days! I wish I was one of those lucky women that don't find out until 8-10 wks! Man, that would be nice! I found out so early with Ava and every day I felt like a ticking time bomb just counting down till the 2 nd tri!

In other news, my Mom paid us a visit from NY! We all had such a great time. The girls are so blessed to have a Grandmother like her. She came and read at El's preschool, we played board games, read books, watched movies, went to the children's museum! We had an awesome time and wish we all lived closer! I am always so jealous of families that have everyone living close by! Many people take this for granted. You don't know how hard it is to not have Grandparents coming to school night or recitals, but I do! I believe this has made me a better mother, a more loving wife and much more appreciative of the time I for get to spend with my parents And sister!

Hopefully this weather will begin to ease up. I am so done with winter, as I bet alot of the country is! Kansas in Feb/March is usually mild with the early beginnings of spring! Not this year, were still covered in snow and ice and our temps had held steady around 35 degrees! I will never ask for snow again, I promise! I will update with my dates of my new cycle just as soon as it starts!! Until then, pray for Spring!!!!!!

Blood work and randomness

Quick update! My last post was dedicated to the life and loss of my Geandfather, I didn't want to interject ramblings of clomid, opks, and TTC stuff so here's what I left out!

I took my last 50mg clomid pill January 23( the day G-pa passed & my b-day) I fell off the wagon with temping while in PA, so when I returned I wasn't sure If I had missed ovulation it not. I had a full blood work up schedualed for cd21 which was feb 5th. They checked everything from cholesterol to my thyroid. I waited paitently for my results all the while analyzing every symptom I "thought" I had. Dr. Cooper called with the news that I did NOT ovulate!!!! Devastated was an understatement!!!! My testosterone levels were elevated which is classic in Pcos so no surpise there. My Dr said she is bumping up my dosage to 100mg and to start provera(af inducer) this week! I really hope this works I don't think I'm going to last much longer. I am emotionally drained from this! Everyone says "relax, it will happen"! Too bad it won't with Pcos!!! I can't relax! I have to temp, take ovulation tests, monitor my Cervical fluid(TMI) and count my cycle days! Relax? Right! Throw in the fact that are house is going on the market in a few weeks, I'm all set! I can't wait to move! Maybe that will be a "refresher" in all this stress! I can't wait to find my dream house! I know exactly what I want and for once, Wes and I are on the same exact page!!

Sorry this turned Into a miss mash of info but I have alot running through my head. I'm glad to get it out and relieve some of that pressure!

Anthony A Boccitto

I can't believe it's February already! The last half of January came and went in a big blur! As I wrote in my previous post, my birthday was a very Bittersweet day! I promised to update on the events of the week that followed and that's were I'll begin.

Saturday, January 23- 6:02 am

I was sound asleep when I woke to the ever familiar sound of my phone, only thing is, it was 6:00 am! No call at 6:00am is a good one! I looked at my phone and saw it was Jess( my sister). A few thoughts passed as I answered( was she still partying? Was someone hurt? Did Grandpa die?) I picked up and heard the quiver in her voice and knew. She explained that Grandpa was currently recieving CPR and that this was it! All the sudden it dawned on me-ITS MY BIRTHDAY. How could this happen today? Why would God pick today? She quickly let me go and said she would call me back with an update! I stumbled downstairs, grabbed a ciggarette and sat in the cold, dark garage. Wes quickly followed and lifted me up and hugged me. Then we sat and waited...

6:15am

I tried calling Jess back but with no answer I was too anxious to wait! I called my dads cell, no answer. ( I hate living so far, I feel so out of the loop). I finally decided to call my Mom. She answered on the 2 nd ring and my heart dropped as I heard the words, " Grandpa died hunny, about 15 minutes ago". I slumped onto the couch and sobbed. Wes tried his best to console me but with the girls asking me over and over why I wad crying he distracted them as I headed back down to the garage. I have never lost someone so close, I knew this would be hard. Then it hit me again, ITS MY BIRTHDAY. Oh my God, how will I ever be able to have a Happy birthday again??

8:00am

I walked around for a few hours in a daze! I text my friend Summer and told her, I cancelled with our BB sitter, and told we'd that no matter what I would be going east to be with my family. Of course he understood. I went up to my bed and got in hoping I could doze off for a little while. That didn't happen, my head was pounding and my heart was aching. My parents were on there way down to Scranton PA to be with my Grandma and Aunt. My poor Mom made the decision to wait until the following week to
visit them since he had been doing better. They( mom and dad) were at my cousin Seans army deployment when this happened. It's about 6 hours away. I pray that my mom will never blame herself for not being there, all the kids( my aunts and uncles) were trying to
divide the time up so that someone was always there. No one could for see this happening and God planned for
it to happen like this.

10:00am

My girlfriend Summer came and picked me up. We went grocery shopping and talked and tried to
focus on other things. While I was out my Dad called and said that the visitation and funeral would be that Monday and Tuesday! So soon! I had him get me the first flight out! It was schedualed for Sunday at 9:45 am! I picked up some extra things for the trip and for wes to get through the week with! Summer then treated me to lunch at MiRanchito and took me home. I called my parents back, got my complete itinerary and began to pack!

As I stated earlier, I had cancelled our BBsitter for that night. When I told my Mom she yelled at me! "your Grandfather lived for celebrations, you need to honor that and enjoy your day!" how
could I argue with that?? I called my friend summer up and asked if we could drop off the girls for a few hours so that we could go out to
dinner. Of course she agreed and we made plans to go have sushi and drinks! We ended up going to happy hour at RA! It was amazing like always, and I had a few too many sakes!! We picks up the girls and headed home. I finishd packing and passed out.

4:00pm Sunday

I arrived in Scranton after a long day of traveling! I was greeted by my 2nd cousin and taken back to my Granparents house. I walked
in and immedietly was surrounded by the love of my family! We ate,drank,laughed and cried till late into the night. Ilooked around the table and realized that the Italian Patriarch of our family was gone. He was the true leader of the family and loved the food and stories! Wow I miss him.

Monday

the visitation was set for 4pm-7pm! I felt pretty confident that I could handle the upcoming events. I arrived to the funeral home at 3:30, I hadn't even turnd the corner of the "viewing" room when my eyes filled with tears and my breathing got rapid. I turned the corner and saw him. I immedietly lost it. My knees went weak and I started going down, my parents rushed over and lifted me up. They slowly walked me up to his steel blue casket. I hadn't seen Grandpa for a few years(due to illness and the kids)! I didn't even recognize him. He looked peaceful, but not like him. Where were his glasses, his comfy pullover he would always wear? He should be sitting in his recliner not laying in a casket! I stood there for a while and just prayed! After that many friends and family came and said their condoleneces, we felt so loved by all the support and the amazing turnout of guests. Towards the end the VFW came in and saluted Grandpa, said some prayers and played the trumpet! It was so beautiful! Not a dry eye in the room!

We finished up at the funeral home and headed back to my grandparents! There was more
Food and drink than I have ever seen before! We all had a great time celebrating! My uncles played music and sang, while we all joined in! It would have been one heck of a party if we were not celebrating a life lost:(

Tuesday

We got to the funeral home around 10am to say our final goodbyes to Grandpa. We stood in line and each family member got to individually say their fairwells. I had written a letter on the back of our family Christmas card. I also included a picture of my darling girls. I tucked the envelope under his lapel right over his heart. It was very hard. We then went out to our cars and waited for the pallbearers to carry grandpa to the hearse. As I stood in the drizzle and wind I watched as the flag covered casket was carried by my father, uncles and cousins. It was heartbreaking! We drove in pressesion to the church and waited agin for them to carry Grandpa in. We found our seats and sat down for the service. It was amazing! The priest who was a close friend of my grandparents talked about how Grandpa had changed his life, my Mom gave the most heartfelt eulogy. She touched every single persons heart that was there! We concluded the service in song and proceeded to the cemetery. Once there, we filled into a small chapel where my Uncle Tony played his guitar and sang "Leader of the band"! If you haven't heard this song before you need too! Here is a verse: " the leader of the band is tired an his eyes are growing old, but his blood runs through my instrument..." I can't continue without crying so we'll leave it there! It was his song and was sung beautifully!

We then left and headed to a resturant for lunch. They do not do graveside burials anymore, but we would be able to return later to visit the grave site! Lunch was great, all the amazing Italian dishes we have grown up with. We gave toasts, and once again celebrated his life! After lunch we headed back to the house and ate and drank more!

I headed home on Thursday with a smile. Grandpa had a great life filled with so many people that loved him! He will forever be in my heart, and every year on my Birthday I will celebrate his life along with mine!!!

Dear Grandpa-
May you forever be at peace now, no more hospitals,needles, medicine! You have touched so many lives and we will forever keep you in our hearts and minds! You can now play beautiful music along with the angels!! I miss you-
your ever loving Granddaughter~ Christina

Anthony A. Boccitto
RIP
12•8•1928 - 1•23•2010