Making a list and checkin it twice...

Wow, can you belive it? Only 3 more days until Christmas! I know I'm repeating myself when I say this, but this year is just flying by! The girls have been out of school since last week and we are filling our time wisely! So much too do,so little time!

My parents are set to arrive Christmas day around 1pm. For those that don't know, Kansas is one of the most unpredictable states when it comes to weather! As of today, we are awaiting round 1/2 storms! The first will bring heavy rains with possible thunderstorms. Yes, I said thunderstorms! Part deux, will included a major "winter storm"! Snow!!! As I am the first one to jump up and down for snow, I am apprehensive to it since my parents will be set to arrive in it's midst! We will go with the flow!

Wes and I have completed all our shopping! I must say, our girls don't realize just how good they have it! Just when you think the house can't house one more toy, you buy three! I have been so busy orchestrating menus and activities for the upcoming week! I have planned a nice quiet evening on Christmas eve with just the four of us! We are going to try out the "family service" at Elise and Ava's school! After we will be dining on my spinach and roasted red pepper lasagne with homemade sauce(per request from wes) and salad and bread!
We then will be up till the wee hours of the night trying to put together all the "must assemble" toys we bought! Christmas morning we will be off to the inlaws by 11am to open presents and eat lunch! Then, weather permitting off to the airport to pick up the Kane grandparents!! I have planned a feast for Christmas dinner and really need to get my lists in order! What a crazy couple of days we have ahead!

Please pray for safe travels as my parents embark on their long journey! Also pray that the family all gets along during Christmas! I can't wait to update with pictures of christmas morning!! Until then, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Congratulations...

What a blessed holiday season so far!

My Sil called tonight with news of a surprise BFP!! I am so happy for the whole Ringle family!! The new baby is predicted to arrive in early August! Baby Natalie and new baby will only be 18 months apart!! Sounds like Elise and Ava!! Hard work but totally worth it! As I heard the news I of course was filled with many emotions. I couldn't be happier for them and wish them all health and happiness inthe following months to
come! I struggled with wanting to share out struggles and before I knew it I blurted it out! I explained how we have been trying for what seems like an eternity to no avail! Like the gracious and kind hearted woman she is, Nancy apologized for her news! That wasn't my intention at all, and I hope (Nancy) if
you read this you know just how happy I truly am!!!! Our struggles are out of are hands and rest in that of our God. He will provide me with a child when he sees fit and we are accepting of that! I do however hope that we can be preggo together and share our gripes,concerns and joys with each other!!!

In other news, the Dr office called back and said they have no
explanation for my breakthrough bleeding! The nurse was so
kind and actually listened to what I had to
say!
I explained that I am beyond frustrated with not ovulating and having to
use synthetic drugs to produce a period. She said that if nothing happens by January to set up an apt and talk fertility treatments! This scares me too death but gives me a Ray of hope! I will continue to
temp this month and take my provera as needed. I am going to research the
drug Clomid Which is most likely what will be Rx to me. I really didn't want any medication to aid in conception but at this
point I am just flat out frustrated.

Please pray that I can have a calm heart and easy mind! I know that God has all his
plans laid out already, and I just pray that we will be blessed with his presence soon!

Tis the Season

I hope everyone is getting into the Holiday spirit! I'm happy to say I have all my gifts bought and just waiting to be wrapped! The girls are going to be receiving quite the load of gifts this year! This will be the first Xmas that both girls truly understand! I can't wait to see the look on their faces as they come down Xmas morning. We have been filling our time with making cookies,decorating ornaments, and watching holiday movies! The girls love all the Xmas songs that have been playing on the radio. They each have one more day of school and then are done until January! This year had just flown by! It seems like last week I was going to meet their teachers and now were headed into Xmas break! I guess when my weeks consist of counting days and waiting for signs it can totally consume you!

I have put in a call to Dr.Cooper due to a sudden onset of bleeding yesterday. It was not alot but enough to raise a red flag! I am hoping it is a sign of ovulation(since I haven't since July) I am wondering if it's a build up of follicles that finally burst! Hopefully something happens this month and we can be done with this stress! Of course the Dr was joy in the office today and they will consult with her tomorrow and get back to me! I wonder if they'll want to see me?? I will update after I talk to them tomorrow!

In other news, it has been subzero outside! I mean freezing, I wouldn't mind so much if there was snow on the ground. I miss the snow covered ground all winter, the bushes and trees sparkling like a million diamonds! It was hard to explain why the snow melts and doesn't come back, Elise asked if we could go to the pool since I Said the snow melted because it was too warm out. Bless her heart!

My Mom and Dad will be arriving Christmas day and we are all very excited! I will attempt a prime rib! That is one expensive cut of meat that I do not want to ruin! I can't wait tomspend the week with them! I always enjoy their
company and hate when they leave! I wish my sister Jess was coming but due to
personal reasons and school she will remain back east! Pray for her heart to heal so she will not miss another family get together again! Also if you could pray for my dear sweet grandfather! He is in complete heart and renal failure and is now refusing to eat! We are all walking on pins and needles as the sound of the phone sends us into panic! I hope
god will ease his pain and he can enjoy the time here he had left!

Sending you and your family's much peace and love during this holiday season!!
~ Christina

Holiday madness

The wonderful Holiday season is upon us! We celebrated thanksgiving at my inlaws. The food was great and it made me miss my family back east all the more!

Elise celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday!! Wes, I and the girls headed out to the Legends and ate at TRex cafe! It is comparable to the Rainforest Cafe! Both girls were in awe of the giant moving dinosaurs and all the sounds and lights that surrounded us as we ate! You deffinitly pay for attmosphere! Elise had a great day!! We had her party over the weekend, she sure walked away with some pretty cool things! I felt very nestalgic last night as I reminiscised of the day she was born! I sat and replayed all the evnts and emotions I had, made me sad to think it has already been 4 years! I wish we could freeze time and let them enjoy their youth before they grow up!

We are still struggling with my whacky cycles. I once again had to take Provera to being AF, so therfore I know I have not ovulated! This is very discouraging to me but I am trying not to stress out about it. I did some research online about "natural" ways to induce ovulation. I found many sites for an herb called Soy Isoflavones, it is an Estrogen based plant thar increases natural estrogen during af to stimulate follical release! I took them cd3-cd7 and am hoping it works! I chose not to use opks this month but to continue to temp! I was so obsessed with the opks that I used them all up within a few weeks! Hopefully with the pending crazyness of gift giving and cookie baking I will forget about this struggle and relax!

Things that go "bump" in the night

We had a great Halloween this year! The girls were so into it and I am glad that they have finally reached an age that they know whats going on! Grandma Chele bought the girls the most adorable costume's, Elise was a Bumble bee( or as she refers to it: Buzzy Bee) and Ava was a monarch butterfly! We started the night off at Wes's Grandmothers house, the girls went door to door and began to accumulate a fair amount of candy. We left there after about an hour and headed back home. We decided to unload that bag of candy and start fresh on our block. We went down the street and made a giant loop. Needless to say, we will have candy until Easter!!! Wes and I have had a great time going through and picking out what we want! Ahhh, to be a kid again!

After our sugar rushed Saturday we layed low Sunday and played outside and relaxed! Monday things got a little ugly!

I decided I would begin to work out on my elliptical again, so I bucked up and worked out for about 45 minutes. I was one hot sweaty mess! I came up stairs and sat on the edge of the couch and began to take off my shoes. Just as I was untying my second, Ava comes barreling by me and tripped and did a full dive into the coffee table! At first I assumed it was the typical bump on the head and a kiss would make everything better, well as soon as she lifted her head I knew that wasn't the case! I swooped her up and just as I did a giant cut began to separate and bleed! I ran her into the kitchen and got a towel to stop the bleeding, it wasn't gushing but enough to make my knees shake! I called Wes and told him to hurry home and that we would need to go to the ER. My good friend Summer lives down the street so I called her and she was at my house in less than 3 minutes(not going to tell how fast she was going!) She quickly took over so I could call the Dr. They told me to go to Children's Mercy because more than likely she would need stitches. Ava remained calm and was such a trooper. Elise was so helpful and got water for Ava and towels. Wes got home and we packed up the girls and headed to the hospital. Once we arrived they did triage and guided us to a room. The nurse came in and said she would either need stitches or Dermabond to keep the cut closed up. They applied a topical anesthetic( no needles involved, Yahoo!) and let it sit for about 30 minutes. after about an hour of waiting the Dr came in and looked at it, he went over the pros and cons of stitches vs. dermabond. We decided to go with the glue! They wrapped her up and irrigated the cut, then applied this glue, it seriously looked like a glue stick. They said within 5-7 days the glue would fall off and she should be fine! I am so proud of her for being such a trooper, never cried once at the hospital. We came home and babied her and now its as if it never happened! She still has a deep looking cut but its healing and she also has a giant black and blue bump. I have one strong little girl!!! Hopefully it does not leave a huge scar, but if it does we will sure have a great story!

Pcos...the good the bad and the irregular

I had my well woman check up last week. It wad nice to see dr.Cooper and the staff. It's so funny how you are immediatly brought back to prenatal visits by walking through those double doors! As I waited for the dr I got out my list of questions and concerns, are they stupid,do I already know the answers?? The soft knock broke my daydream as I was greeted by a familiar smile! We began to talk about our kids( Elise and get son are a week apart)! She then did the exam and began asking how the ttc was going! With a heavy sigh I explained my irregular cycles and lack of menstration (TMI)! She brought up a past u/s I had done after Ava was born where they mentioned PCOS( polycystic ovarian syndrome)! I had my suspicions about this and she confirmed the diagnosis! Basically my ovaries produce a string of eggs that never release and cause rocky cycles! Sypmtoms of Pcos include excessive hair growth,acne, weight issues,insulin resistence. I have the hair and as of recently the acne. We talke about working with this and making a baby! The game plan is : every month I will track my cycles, my temperature and take ovulation tests! If I do not get my period by day 35 I take a round of provera to start and repeat each month until pregnant. If nothing happens in 6 months we will start clomid( ovulation enhancing drug). U am apprehensive about sythetic medications for inducing womanly functions so the minute I left I hopped on the Internet!

I googled " natural clomid" and was shocked by all the sites that popped up! I came to fund out that many women with Pcos were taking an herbal supplement called soy isoflavones. I researched that and learned that it is an estrogen inducing herb that makes you ovulate!! Sign me up!! I drive out to whole food and bought a bottle! You take it in the dame days as you would clomid which is early in your cycle cd5-10. I am currently on my 4 th day of it and will hopefully ovulate early next week!!! I am temping every morning and checking all my secondary signs so... Fingers crossed this is our month!!!

The soy may or may not work but it's giving me some hope that I will ovulate! I just wish I wad within the "normal" range for a woman. 28 day cycle, 14 day lutal phase ..ect! Oh well, this is the body I was given and god will bless us with a baby when he sees fit!!

God's Hand

On Wednesday october 14 th my cousin gave birth to a healthy 7#5oz baby girl they named Flynn! I spoke with Caitlin the day she went into labor and urged her to go to the hospital( u could hear the pain in her voice)well she went and was admitted! The epi offered no relief and she ended up with an emergency forcept delivery! Luckily my aunt Dianne is the head nurse at that hospitals newborn unti(post partum)! I heard through facebook all the updates and eventually the birth announcement! We were all gushing over the new bundle of joy!! They were sent home from the hospital in Friday( I believe) and were settiling into life at home with a newborn! Pictures kept coming via facebook and it brought back such precious memories of both my girls!!! The last I spoke with Caitlin she was telling me her birth story and the ups and downs of delivery ect...! I saw later that weekend that they were planning on going to an army choir concert in Sunday night!

Monday morning I recieved a text message from my mom that Caitlin her boyfriend and 4 day old baby Flynn were all involved in a horrible car accident! My heart just fell to te floor as I thought of every possible senerio and their outcomes! I immediatly got in the phone and sailed my mom! The story is: the 3 were leaving my aunts house on their way home for the night! They approached an intersection an were hit by a guy running a red light! The car impacted in the passesger side and basically totalled the car! The boyfriend broke a few ribs and some bruising and Caitlin ended up with a shattered right leg! Flynn, was unharmed and SLEPT through the entire thing! Caitlin was taken to the hospital were she ended up getting transfered to a sufferer one that specialized in orthopedic surgery! She under went 6 hours of reconstructive leg/foot surgery! She almost lost her foot! She is still in the hospital and in a great deal of pain! She has a metal plate with screws in the outside that must be tightened accordingly! The baby was able to go back to the newborn nursery and be taken care of by my aunts co-workers!

For those that have children, we all know the first few months can be hell! The sleepless nights, the soreness from delivery, the uncertaintity of everything! Imagine why she is feeling! She can't get out of bed and has to be takn care of! The desire totake care of her new baby is overtaken by sheer pain and discomfort! I do k owthat her whole family has been by her side and will help her in everyway, buy I know she realizes all those first moments of bonding and experiences will forever be lost! This breaks my heart, an as I mother I can't even fathom her own heartache! Hopefully one day she can look back and tell her baby Flynn one hell of a story!!!!

This showed me that lives can change in a snap, their is no segregation when it comes to tragedy and also that god was their for that baby! For Caitlin to be so incredibly hurt is still frustrating, but God laid his hand on Flynn and kept her from harm! I pray for the whole family and wish them all nothing but gods prayers and support through this trying time!

Please pass on these prayers!!!!

A glimpse of life as a single parent

Every October inventory is done for Wes's buisness. The first weekend it's held at the Springfield Mo branch, the 2nd week is here in Kansas City, and the 3rd is in Omaha NE. For this, I hate October! Wes works long late hours and everyone involved are always in foul moods. We are currently on week 3 and Wes left for Omaha early this morning. Even though he is gone during weekdays at work , for some reason when he is out of town, it just feels different. I don't have any family(my side) that lives here and I am always scared of something going wrong while he is away.

The day started off like a normal Friday. Breakfast which consisted of oatmeal for the girls, and cinnamon toast crunch for me(figure that one out)! We had made plans earlier in the week to have some friends over for pizza night ,so that was our running force throughout the day! The girls played for a while while I did some routine chores. We all had an hour of quiet time and at around 3pm we threw on our coats and headed to the grocery store for some pizza toppings and other essential items we needed.

This is the beginning of the downhill slope...

We got to the store and of course the girls were upset that their beloved "race car" shopping cart was already in use. So I grabbed a regular one and told them to get in! They threw such a fit I could have sworn the entire store was staring at me! So there we are in the canned good isle, me pushing an empty cart while the girls run up and down the isle. Other shoppers are glaring at me like I'm "that mom"! Yup, that was me! Ava decided to clear the whole bottom shelf of canned tomatoes and baked beans, while El was kicking them down the isle! I grabbed them, threw them in the cart, threatened them and began rearranging the cans!

We finally made it out of there after 40 minutes and denying them candy, balloons, and a 70 lb pumpkin! We made it home and I let the dogs out back, the girls pleaded with me to play outside! I finally gave in thinking it would wear them out and give me a chance to put away the groceries! I bundled them up and sent them out the back door. About 7 minutes later I see Elise soaking wet( waist down) standing on the back deck, did I mention shoe less?!? I quickly open the door let her in and go to get Ava! I walk down the deck stairs and see her standing(shoeless) in their sandbox, which is more like a wet sand waterhole now. I grab her all their shoes and run back inside! Give them a hot bath due to the purple appearance of they're toes. I bundle them up and sit down to gather myself! Huff, I'm stressed!

Our friends were due to arrive around 5:30 so I prepped all the toppings and got everything else ready to go for pizza night! Ava in the meantime has been whining and crying due to exhaustion. I sit down cover her with her blankie and rock her into a light doze. Elise was quietly playing around the house. I noticed that she was covering up our dog Gracie with her blanket and poking and prodding her face! I told her not to do that because Gracie would snip at her! Not even 3 minutes later I see El push Gracie to her limit. Gracie lunged and snipped Elise in the face! I didn't think much of it at first since it's happened before. I sat and waited for the cry! When the normal cry was replaced by a shrill scream of panic I flew out of my chair (Ava still in tow) and ran over to her! One glance at her made my stomah drop! There on that porceline angel face was a stream of blood running out of her nose and mouth! I threw ava on the couch, grabbed El and ran to the kitchen! I tried to remain calm and took a deep breathe and looked her over. The blood was running pretty heavy so I grabbed a towel and held it firmly on her nose. There was thankfully no bite marks so I assume what happened is Gracie hit her head into Els nose! It bled pretty heavy for about 4 minutes all the while I was trying to call Wes! As soon as I reached him the bleeding had subsided! Of course my first sentence to Wes was" Gracie bit Elise in the face and she is gushing blood"! Poor Wes! I'm considered by him an "over exagerator)It was in the heat of the moment I was scared! We concluded it was just a bloody nose and gave her some tissues to keep on thier just in case! At this point our friends arrived to see blood all over the kitchen and bloody towels on the table! Yummo! Who wants pizza ??? Luckily Eileen is a nurse and checked El over and gave her a clean bill of health!

The rest of out night went according to plan, I'm just anticipating what events are in store for us tomorrow!!! Thankfully Wes will be home by late afternoon! I do have a new found respect for the single parent! It's hard enough with two parents there!! To all you single parents out there, you are my idols!!!

And so it begins...

Over the past few months I have gone back and forth on whether now would be the best time to add to our family. My conclusion, their is never a perfect time so let's leave it in Gods hands! My first real desire came when I walked into Elise and Ava's school orientation! I suddenly felt this overwhelming ache of wanting another child! I don't know if it was due to the fact that my babies are growing so fast and I want to hold onto their youth and innocence as long as possible or if it was the 7 other expecting mothers glowing and rubbing their belly's! Either way I left that meeting with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye! My girls will begin a new chapter in their lives and we as a family will as well!!

Since April of this year I began tracking my cycles, just on a calendar. I never have kept track before and for some reason felt compelled to do so! Wes and I wanted to wait until the end of summer to begin trying. So I continued to track on the calender and seemed to have pretty regular cycles. Well come August when we officially began to try, I started charting and paying close attention to my body! September quiclkly approaches and I am nearing the "golden time" to test. I think when people are trying to conceive you fabricate symptoms into your mind and you begin to really feel them! I felt bloated, fatigued, nausea the whole bit, so out came the home pregnancy test( hpt)! I took it with such high hopes but they quickly sank when only one blue line appeared. I waited and continued to test over the next week! I was still "late" so figured I had miscalculated some dates and waited a week longer! Finally after 2 months of BFN's ( big fat negatives) and no period-sorry TMI, I called my OB! I vented my frustration to the poor nurse telling her I was 56 days late, yep 56! she quickly calmed me down and set me up a time to come in for a beta blood test! I gathered up the girls and we headed to the doctors. After the blood draw I had high hopes, maybe I ovulated late and the blood test will pick up an earlier positive then a home test would! After 2 agonizing days of waiting they called and said my numbers were normal and that my Dr. ( DR.Cooper ) would write a Rx for a drug called Provera! This is supposed to mimic your bodies own natural progesterone rise and fall which induces menstruation! This leads us to current day! I am on day 8/10 of the Provera and will hopefully start af(aunt flo) early next week! I also have my yearly exam with Dr. Cooper next Thurs so either come early or start after I leave my apt!!! I am not rescheduling and missing out on a great opportunity to voice my utter frustration and concerns! We'll see!

Wes and I haven't mentioned this to very many people! My Mother and sister and that's about it! Want to keep everything hush hush until we have a bean in there!! Fingers crossed it happens soon!!!