One week old

This baby (knock on wood) has got to be the best baby in the world. He sleeps, eats, poops, repeats. He has cried 2 or 3 times since coming home and one was due to a bath, his belly button rubbing his diaper, and the other strapping him in the carseat. He wakes up and just makes little noises to alert me he is ready for a diaper change and a boobie. I think God gave me a laid back child to help ease us all into this life of 3 kids. it has been more of a struggle with the girls than i anticipated. although my mom is here and pays them so much attention they still have been very demanding. i have had some feelings of guilt since I am basically at the baby's beckoning call, but am trying so hard to be paitent and show equal attention. I love that everyday he changes but at the same time, i just want him to stay exactly the same. He is so sweet and did I mention ADORABLE!! It's so amazing how the heart can continue to accomidate room for extra love to shared.

A baby story...

I am finally able to sit down and take a moment to write this out.

Kellan Wesley Sikes
3/23/2011
2:19pm
6.5lbs 18 in

We are down to 5.12lbs but thankfully my milk just came in today and we will fatten him up.


As you all know we had a scheduled induction on Wednesday the 23rd at 7am. Leading up to that I had been contracting on and off for the past 3 weeks with multiple false labor contractions and many sleepless nights.
The night before my induction we were all basically running around like crazy doing stupid things that didn't even need to be done. DH insisted he re-caulked the kitchen counter. I mean was that really necessary?? Anyways, I took an hour long shower, shaved my legs and tried my best to "tidy" up the lady parts. I actually did a pretty good job. We headed to bed around midnight, and as soon as I laid down I knew I was in trouble. Tick Tock... 2 am and I was still awake, thank God for Tylenol Pm.
We woke at about 5:45 and headed to the hospital at 7. We were greeted by my nurse, and I was a little weary of how we would work out together. You sometimes have that instant connection and other times ya don't. Well this one had to grow on me, but of course in the end she was my best friend. We got situated in our room, I explained my desire for my natural birth, blah blah, blah. She seemed supportive but not overly enthused. She started my IV which was horrible, I blew a vein and my hand is still sore. Basically we hung out until 8:40 when my Dr came in. She checked me and guess what?? yup, 4 cm and 90%. Imagine that. So we broke my water and everything was clear and flowing nicely. I assumed since I was already dilated so much and having all these crazy contractions that I would just boom, go into hard core labor. Nope, I basically had 3 contractions from 9 am till 11. My Dr told me after she broke my water that if I didn't progress by noon I would have to go on Pitocin. So I walked and walked and walked. I must have walked for 2 hours straight. I got back to the room after not much excitement. The nurse checked me and I was a 5!! wazoo!! At least I didn't have to go with Pitocin. I hung out in the room and sporadically would have a good strong contraction. I never once had time-able hardcore contractions. I had to be on the monitor 20 minutes every hour. Around 1pm I decided to get in the tub and relax. Still I was feeling great, talking, joking. I hung out in the tub and had 2-3 really hard contractions. I all the sudden got very hot. I started feeling lightheaded and sweaty. I asked everyone to help me out of the tub. The moment I stood up I instantly knew. My poor husband thought I was still joking around when I yelled at him to call the nurse. I felt him continue to drop as I tried to walk over to the bed. By the time I made it from the tub to the bed I was in pure agony. I threw my upper body across the end of the bed and started yelling for pain meds. No way was I going to be able to survive hours of this without medication. My nurse was still not in the room and I kept yelling to call her again. In she came. The minute she looked at my face she knew. She got me into the bed and checked me. She kindly said 7/8 cm. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME??????????? That right there I when I wanted to die. Just as I was about to have a hysterical breakdown something happened... My body began to involuntarily push. I freaked out. i told her to check me again, granted it hadn't even been a full minute. She was entering something into the computer and I looked at her and yelled " HE IS COMING, CHECK ME AGAIN!" She ran over and quickly checked. This is where i kinda go fuzzy. She never once told me I was complete. All I remember was her with one hand inside me and the other on the emergency phone asking for backup. I began having the uncontrollable urges to push, and I was yelling and holding onto the the bed bars with both hands. it was a scene out of the exorcist. My poor mother never knew I was complete either so she had me fighting this urge to push and every time I began to push they would all tell me to stop and blow it away. I finally gave up and let my body take over. The room quickly filled up and there I was screaming and twisting my legs back and forth trying to not push this baby out. I looked at my nurse and told her to put something in my Iv, I told her to hit me, I told her I hated this. She responded "this is what you wanted..." I was in the middle of a contraction and yelled "I fucking lied!" My husband was so freaked out he stood on the opposite side of the room while my Mom was at my side. At this point my mom said I was so out of control she thought i was going to have a stroke. She grabbed my face and told me to focus. I yelled at her too. It is so hard to describe that pain, it felt as if I had a gigantic poop that wanted to come out so bad but wouldn't. I kept yelling I had to poop, I literally felt as if every time my body would involuntarily push that I was going to rupture a spleen or poop out my kidneys. I had 2 more pushing contractions that had me cussing and screaming and in the midst of the second one, in ran my Dr. I told her I was done and didn't want to do this anymore. I guess I asked if I could go home. lol She looked at me and said "Christina, it's time to meet your son." I will never forget those words. So right after that pep talk I had the crazy urge again, she didn't even have her gown on and i said, "he's coming, he's coming!" I looked down and she had what I thought at the time was the attachment to a vacuum, but it was really a syringe, as he began to crown I kept yelling " Pull him out Cooper, pull him out!" I honestly thought she was helping me to suction him out, lol. they give lidocaine during crowning to help with stitches after. So in just once contraction his little head crowned and popped right out followed by the rest of him. I think i would have died if someone told me to stop pushing after his head came out. I had had enough of that. my whole body started shaking, she suctioned him, he cried, I cried, and then I was handed my boy. He was so tiny. Full head of hair, and the most precious cry. My husband had made it to my other side just as I pushed him out. He later admitted that he was so freaked out by my pain that he froze. Bless his heart. I think it worked out best this way. I probably would have said thing to him I would have regretted. My mom had 2 natural births so she fully understood. they took my lil man over to get all his stuff worked on and out came my placenta. the Dr started to give me more numbing injections since she didn't have enough time before. that was so painful i asked for the epi. haha. she did hook me up with some stadol during my repairs. I only had a 1st degree tear. She said it was due to the one contraction crown and delivery. So I got cleaned up and so did baby boy and we were reunited. I was later told that my nurse knew my Dr wanted me to hold off on pushing as long as I could so she could be there. My mom and I both thought I was still at a 7/8 when she paged everyone in. I tried so hard not to push because i have heard of women tearing their cervix when the push too early. had I know I was complete after the second ck, I would have had the baby 10 minutes prior to my Dr even getting there. I'm kind of upset about that because that's why my recovery is tough. I basically had to fight my own body. In the end I got exactly what I wanted. I never envisioned it to happen so fast or be so painful. I always thought you have the 2 min apart Contrax, they get closer, stronger, you feel the urge... Mine was, relax in tub have a few big contrax and boom start pushing. The time line was this:
9 am ~ water broken
12:21~ onset of labor (I changed from a 4 to a 5)
2:05 ~ out of tub 7/8 cm
2:19~ holding baby boy.

I was asked if i would do it again, and honestly I'm not ready to answer. It is still so fresh and raw in my head. plus the fact that I feel like I blew out my entire ass doesn't help. It was the most intense and empowering moment of my life. I say why pull a tooth without being numb? My Dr also said had I not been induced I would have had the baby at home or in the car. I had planned on waiting for my contrax to be really intense and close together...well I'm just glad I was already in the hospital. DH could barely handle that.

We are home and all happy. Trying to adjust to a family of 5.

The time has come...

I will be meeting my baby boy this Wednesday! I am overly excited as well as filled with anxiety. After having false labor for the past 2.5 weeks I am ready to be done. I just am not sure if I am ready to accept that this is the last time I will ever carry a child. It's very bittersweet and I am over the moon to meet this little creature that has been dwelling inside, but I am also going to miss the belly, the little nudges, the excitement of seeing him move. Life is about to change for us. No more sleeping in on Saturday's or getting out the door in 5 minutes. I feel as if we are starting from scratch. It's only been 3.5 years since we've done this but it seems like a century. I know this is all pre baby jitters and once he is here we will forget what life before him was like, but damn I'm nervous. I am hoping a calm will come over me tomorrow and I will be able to rest and relax before the BIG day. MY induction starts at 7am and I am just praying everything will go according to plan. For those that have had a baby, we all know that dosn't always work out. I plan on laboring without drugs since I have had horrible experiences in the past with the Epi. I am nervous about this, but am trying to trust that my body will know what to do and that my support team ( Wes, Mom, and sister) will all do their parts as well. I can't stop thinking about what he is going to look like, and who is will resemble. How much will he weigh? The girls were both under 7lbs, but I have a feeling he is gonna be bigger, hopefully not too big. Please keep us all in your prayers. Safe and speedy labor and delivery. I will update once he is here!!

Tick Tock

37 weeks

Well after the big excitement of thinking baby boy was coming last Sunday here we sit. I have done nothing but contract and be in pain ever since. Good practice? yes. Annoying? yes. I will go a full 8 hours contracting every 3-5 minutes just for them to stop and vanish. i am praying that at all this pain and uncomfortableness will aide in a speedy labor. I have planned a drug free birth from the beginning and after a week of this crap, I'm pretty sure I can handle it. But we will see. I am afraid he is face up which will make it that much harder and more painful to labor naturally. I'm wondering if that might be why i keep stalling. i know in order for you to dilate the head must be in the proper position against the cervix. I feel him right there and he sends stabbing pains through me and down my legs every time he moves but I'm still curious if it's all in the right spot. Everyone keeps saying that i will go early and believe me, some nights i would place bets that i would. But for some reason i just know that the 23rd (date of induction) will be his birthday. I have been induced with both girls and really wanted this one to be all natural. i want to labor at home or experience my water breaking and the excitement of that at home. All the same I will get a little boy in the end. I couldn't be more excited to meet this stubborn guy. His room is finally complete and looks awesome. So I will just sit and wait. . . and wait. . . and wait. . .

My Labor Tour

I know I shouldn't be too bummed considering I was quite early and quite unprepared but when the nurse even said "he's coming tonight", how could I not be?? So here are the cliff notes:

Went in for my labor tour and while walking out to leave I kept stopping due to having a couple contractions. The lady I met with suggests I get ckd out and brings me up to the nurses station. They all look at me like I'm this stupid first timer with no clue. I inform them that this is my 3rd and the bee's start swarming.

Get hooked up to a monitor and BOOM, every 3 minutes they are coming. Not very painful, but there. I am checked and according to this nurse I was a 1 and 50%. My Dr had me 1-1.5 and 50% on Friday. So after the ck I just assume as did she that things would die out and I go home.

Nurse comes back in after and hour and my contrax are now 2-3 minutes apart. She check me, 2-3cm and 60-70%. What??? Now I start kinda freaking out. She goes and talks with the on call DR and he says "re ck in an hr". So now my contrax are getting closer and more painful and All I want to do is get off my damn back and work through them. But the on call Dr won't let me. So an hour goes by of me shifting in bed and basically just waiting for the next contraction. The nurse and I did have some fun talking about what a jerk the Dr is, lol. I get re ckd and 3-4cm 80%. I tell the nurse, I am getting out of bed and this DR can shove it.

She goes and talks with him and he finally admits me. I was so afraid he was going to just re check every hr until I was 10 and then say, "ya know what, this woman's in labor!". ugh. So I get my labor room with a tub and ball, and my husband finally makes it up. We had to figure out something for the girls. (Nightmare).

I get comfy in my room and of course say goodbye to my awesome nurse and get an old one. Whatever. I get into the tub and finally relax except for all the damn phone calls and texts. My poor mom and sister were so upset they were missing it. Anyways so I get out of the tub after an hour and lay in bed, the contrax seem to have slowed and I was hot and dizzy. The nurse checks me and I was the same. So then they explain that since baby is preterm by 3 days they can't do anything to help things along. The nurse then tells me the on call Dr wants me to take a pill to relax my uterus and help me rest. I refused. At about 3am I was exhausted and my contrax fizzled to every 4-5 minutes. I was basically sleeping in between them.

8 am my Dr comes in and we talk about everything, she checks me and I am exactly the same. She does note that I am having tons and tons of bloody show and still some pretty painful contractions. She says since the contrax are spaced out now and I have had no progress it's up to me. So frustrating being 2 days away from "term" and not being helped. I ended up staying another 6 hours before calling it quits. I got a new nurse that was a total bitch and even put her hand on my belly during a contraction to see if they were "real". I was done. I had her call my Dr and let me go. My Dr knew I was in pain and hadn't slept so she offered me Stadol. I had the nurse give it to me and then literally wheel me down the hall. Fun car ride home!!

So now I am home and having contraxt every now and then. I am still bleeding and passing tons of mucous, so who knows. I have an apt tomorrow for a sono and to meet with the Dr. The good news is that tomorrow is 37 weeks-TERM. So if I were to go into labor and "stall" they could help things along.

I just cant go through this up and down contrax thing for the next few weeks. My body is so sore and my emotional being is spent. I promise I will give y'all a baby story, I promise;-) I have a feeling it will be sooner than later, I can't [possibly walk around at 4 cm and be having these contractions for another 3 weeks.