Wednesday, October 14, 2009

And so it begins...

Over the past few months I have gone back and forth on whether now would be the best time to add to our family. My conclusion, their is never a perfect time so let's leave it in Gods hands! My first real desire came when I walked into Elise and Ava's school orientation! I suddenly felt this overwhelming ache of wanting another child! I don't know if it was due to the fact that my babies are growing so fast and I want to hold onto their youth and innocence as long as possible or if it was the 7 other expecting mothers glowing and rubbing their belly's! Either way I left that meeting with a smile on my face and a tear in my eye! My girls will begin a new chapter in their lives and we as a family will as well!!

Since April of this year I began tracking my cycles, just on a calendar. I never have kept track before and for some reason felt compelled to do so! Wes and I wanted to wait until the end of summer to begin trying. So I continued to track on the calender and seemed to have pretty regular cycles. Well come August when we officially began to try, I started charting and paying close attention to my body! September quiclkly approaches and I am nearing the "golden time" to test. I think when people are trying to conceive you fabricate symptoms into your mind and you begin to really feel them! I felt bloated, fatigued, nausea the whole bit, so out came the home pregnancy test( hpt)! I took it with such high hopes but they quickly sank when only one blue line appeared. I waited and continued to test over the next week! I was still "late" so figured I had miscalculated some dates and waited a week longer! Finally after 2 months of BFN's ( big fat negatives) and no period-sorry TMI, I called my OB! I vented my frustration to the poor nurse telling her I was 56 days late, yep 56! she quickly calmed me down and set me up a time to come in for a beta blood test! I gathered up the girls and we headed to the doctors. After the blood draw I had high hopes, maybe I ovulated late and the blood test will pick up an earlier positive then a home test would! After 2 agonizing days of waiting they called and said my numbers were normal and that my Dr. ( DR.Cooper ) would write a Rx for a drug called Provera! This is supposed to mimic your bodies own natural progesterone rise and fall which induces menstruation! This leads us to current day! I am on day 8/10 of the Provera and will hopefully start af(aunt flo) early next week! I also have my yearly exam with Dr. Cooper next Thurs so either come early or start after I leave my apt!!! I am not rescheduling and missing out on a great opportunity to voice my utter frustration and concerns! We'll see!

Wes and I haven't mentioned this to very many people! My Mother and sister and that's about it! Want to keep everything hush hush until we have a bean in there!! Fingers crossed it happens soon!!!


  1. Christina~ you said it right, when you decided to leave it up to God and put it in his hand's and in his trust. He knows what's best for you and your family and though you may feel have to trust that everything happens for a reason. Believe me when I say, as your daughters start their chapter in Preschool, life will only get busier from there. Take this time for yourself, to relax and be the best 'YOU', you can be. I know what I'm about to say seems completely impossible friend, but try to push the want of another baby far from you mind...the more you stress yourself about it and allow the frustrations to over take you, the harder it will be for your body to accept a pregnancy. This may sound crazy too, but Pray about it. God has a funny way of answering our prayers sometimes and it may not always be answered how we would have liked, but if we open our heart, mind and body to Him, we will hear his answers. I will be praying for you friends. This is a hard journey...but look to all that you have now, be Thankful, and know that God has a plan for you. Know that I am here...ALWAYS...whether you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or a babysitter so you and Wes can have some alone time to reflect, relax or play;)...know that I am ONLY a phone call away. I know it's probably hard not having your mom and sister here to be with you through this, but I would love to do anything you needed in order to fill in for them in their absence. Love you friend.

  2. Coming from me, the consummate control freak, I have to say I know exactly what you're going thru. I had everything planned for when and where, and absolutely NOTHING worked out my way. Two pieces of advice I received always stuck in my mind, and they both really rang true for me: one is "The harder you try, the harder it is." and the other is "It will happen when it happens, and I guarantee you it will be at the most inopportune time...." So, good luck! Ignore these feelings and focus on something else for a few months, and then see what happens.