Mr Kellan is 2 months

Kellan had his 2 month check up today. I was betting he weighed about 12 pounds and I was right! We have a chunk-a-roni on our hands. He handle the shots ok, the oral vaccine however made him choke and he couldn't catch his breath. It was very scary, his whole mouth and chin turned blue. We had to stay and do an oxygen test after that. Thankfully his numbers were perfect. We are home now, and he has basically slept all day, he only wakes to nurse. Poor baby, I hate seeing him like this. Here are his stats:

Weight 12.2 (65%)
Height 22.0 (12%)
Head 15 3/4(50%)

We have a shorty on our hands. I cursed him with that, hopefully Wes's heighth will play a part soon and he will grow big and tall.

Somethings we are doing now:
He is very vocal. Ooooh's and ahhhh's all the time.
Loves to bat at his toys on his playmat.
Absoloutly HATES tummy time.
Peed on daddy's foot, and hosed down our couch.
LOVE'S TO SMILE

I can't wait to see what month 3 will bring!!

I Will Always Remember

Today marks tthe one year anniversary of our loss. I went back and read my post from that day and cried. What a sad day that was for us. I will always remember the rain that day, I will always remember the feeling of absoloute hopelessness and sorrow. I will always rememebr feeling guilty for I was the Mom, how could I let this happen? I will always remember the physical pain I felt in my heart, it ached so badly. I will always remember that you were a part of me and always will be.

6 weeks

Had my 6 week post partum appointment today. Everything went great, actually better than expected! I weigh 10 whopping pounds less than before I got pregnant! Thank you Mr. Kellan for eating non-stop and literally sucking the life out of mommy! Best diet plan ever! Now I just need to come up with a plan for once he stops nursing. Here are some recent pic's of little or not so little Kellan!

Heaven is for Real

If you are looking for an inspirational easy read book, this is it! I was given this book to read by a coworker of my husbands. Little did i know how much of an impact it would actually have on me. the book sat on my shelf for a few weeks, I would glance at it every now and then and tell myself when I found the time i would read it. Last night I was surfing for something to watch on TV and out of nowhere got the greatest urge to pick up the book. I opened to the first chapter and 4 hours later finished the entire thing. The book is about a 4 year old boy that has a near brush with death due to a ruptured appendix. This little boy later tells his father and mother of his experiences in Heaven and his meeting with Jesus. He described his journey with such detail and matter of factness that I literally had goosebumps throughout the entire book. His accounts of what Jesus looked like and was wearing was amazing. He also met his Great-Grandfather whom had died decades before his own birth. This was all so amazing to read and I was in such awe of this little boys story. I was about halfway through the book when I turned to the chapter that sent chills up my spine "two sisters". One night the little boy asked his mother about his sister. his mother assumed he meant his older sister, he quickly said " no, my sister in heaven". Little did he know that his mother had lost a baby at 8 weeks gestation, years before he was born. My heart dropped to the floor. With tears streaming down my face I read on. He continued to describe this little girl and that she told him she had died in his mommies tummy. When his mother asked what this little girls name was he said "she had no name, you guys never named her." I lost it. I laid in bed for a few hours just reliving my miscarriage and wondering what he/she would have been. I did find great comfort in the belief that our child is in heaven and surrounded by nothing but angels and our loved one's passed on. Our 1 year anniversary of our baby's passing is next week and I truly believe that God guided my hand to read this book to offer me peace. it of course still hurts my heart that we said goodbye before we said hello, but now we will have someone waiting for us when we make our journey there. Please, read this book. I already sent my mother out today to get it!

1 Month

Can someone please tell me why time goes so fast?? I knew it would, but really? 1 month already? My little chicken legged 6lb baby is growing up. He is now a rolly thighed 9 pounder. Kellan has been such a joy to us. He is by far my easiest baby, I'm not sure if it's due to him being a boy or that he is baby #3 and I'm just more relaxed. Either way I am happy to say that he is a breeze. We only cry when poopy, or hungry, and we are sleeping 4 hour stretches at night. The girls are so helpful, Ava is sometime TOO helpful but they love him so much. We get to celebrate Kellan's first holiday tomorrow, Easter! We had bought him an adorable outfit from Old Navy but looking at it now I think it will be huge on him. I have some back up ideas, so i will post a pic of the final product later this week. I can't wait for the girls to wear their dresses, too die for!!

What a boy

I swear, this boy is his father's twin. Loves the boob, loves to poop and LOVES to sleep. i still haven't quite mastered the changing of the diaper. I am so afraid of his little member. the moment air hit it, watch out!! He has also become a pro at projectile pooping!! Yup!! It has hit the back of his bassinet multiple times. I either need to gain some speed or learn a new technique. Breastfeeding is going great. I swear he came out of the womb knowing just what to do. It also helps that i produce enough milk to put a dairy farmer out of business. I weighed him today and he is around 8 lbs! I am so glad he is growing, but I already miss his little chicken legs and teeny tiny head. We are waking about every 3-4 hours to nurse at night, and during the day a little longer. The girls are such good helpers, they get me diapers and wipes. They try to distract him while I change him. they of course run when he pees! It's so funny how he can be sleeping just feet from me but I start to miss him. I want to hold him constantly. I am just so in love!

One week old

This baby (knock on wood) has got to be the best baby in the world. He sleeps, eats, poops, repeats. He has cried 2 or 3 times since coming home and one was due to a bath, his belly button rubbing his diaper, and the other strapping him in the carseat. He wakes up and just makes little noises to alert me he is ready for a diaper change and a boobie. I think God gave me a laid back child to help ease us all into this life of 3 kids. it has been more of a struggle with the girls than i anticipated. although my mom is here and pays them so much attention they still have been very demanding. i have had some feelings of guilt since I am basically at the baby's beckoning call, but am trying so hard to be paitent and show equal attention. I love that everyday he changes but at the same time, i just want him to stay exactly the same. He is so sweet and did I mention ADORABLE!! It's so amazing how the heart can continue to accomidate room for extra love to shared.