Therapy

It has been a week since our loss. I physically am back 100%, emotionally in on my way. I went through some episodes of depression last week, anger, and on the days I felt good I felt guilty for feeling that way. Everyone says they are surprised with how well I'm doing, those comments confuse me. Should I be more upset? Should I not be able to get out of bed? I don't want everyone to think that I have moved on and forgotten because I haven't! This week I would have been counting down to my first ob appt, now Friday will just be Friday. The house work is still a struggle, I just don't want to clean or do the laundry. The girls have been sleeping in random clothes for bed and I have stuck with the comfy sweats and fuzzy socks all week.

After 3 days of "take out" dinning I decided to take control. I gathered up a bunch of ingredients and got to work. 2 hours later I had dinner for the next 3 nights prepared! I was rather excited with my accomplishments and seeing Wes's expression when I told him I cooked was priceless. I made Chicken Divan( my childhood favorite) it's a creamy chicken and broccoli casserole served over rice. I made spinach and mushroom manicotti, and chicken,mole tamale casserole. It was so nice to be able to relax and bot have to worry about, what's for dinner?? Saturday opened up a whole new can of worms. I had experienced the tranquility of cooking and wanted to return to my "happy place"! I decided to go all in! We invited a friend over for dinner and I knew I had to impress.

Here is my menu:
Bruschetta with roasted tomato and garlic.
Field greens with bacon and goat cheese, citrus vinaigrette
Muscles Josephine( steamed muscles in a wine, tomato broth)
gnocchi with tomato vodka sauce

I knew it was a large endeavour but also knew that the bigger the task, the longer I had making it, therefore the better I would feel. I pour myself a big glass of Shiraz and got to work. I prepped all the east stuff, salad, bacon, onions, peeled potatoes...
Gnocchi would be the most time consuming so while the potatoes boiled I got everything else ready. Gnocchi are basically a potato dumplings. You mash potatoes and add egg, and flour. You then roll the dough into little strips and cut into half inch pieces. You then roll that dough down the back of a fork and plop into simmering water. They cook for about a minute and you remove and shock in ice water. I was covered in flour, but loving it! I made 2 pounds of the little boogers! They are very dense and filling so paired with the other dinner items it worked!! I tossed the gnocchi in a vodka sauce and they were amazing!! The girls just ate and ate!!
The muscles are a favorite of wes and I! We had them for the first time on our anniversary at the Bone Fish Grill. I went home and began trying to imitate the recipe, I do think I have just about got it. The muscles steam open in a tomato, red onion, garlic broth. The secret ingredient is Sambucca( anise flavored liquor). When the shells pop open the add there own broth to the pot. We always dunk crusty bread in the bottom of our bowls!! What a magnificent meal! Our friend was overly impressed and we all had a great time eating and laughing! I believe that I found my therapy! Do what makes you happy! I enjoy cooking, I especially enjoy seeing others enjoy my cooking! Happy cooking everybody!!